The talk was delivered by Ms. Pranjul Somani on 3rd May 2019 at ICHARS Centre (Mumbai- Andheri). Pranjul is a therapist and trainer with Institute of Clinical Hypnosis and Related Sciences, Mumbai. She aims to facilitate others to attain balance and harmony between mind, body, & soul.

OBJECTIVE:

• Learn the secrets of true, lasting, fulfilling love relationships
• Understand how the unconscious mind drives our relationships
• Learn how happiness and other emotions affect relationships
• Learn powerful communication techniques that are the secret to safe, successful and fulfilling relationships.

TARGET:

• Anyone and everyone can attend
• Who is starting a new journey
• Who wish to have a stable relationship
• Who is in a committed relationship
• Who is married

OUTCOMES:

• Improved communication
• Adjusting to changing definition and understanding of love
• Happier relationships
• Forgiving past and focusing on the present
• Effective conflict management

DESCRIPTION:

The talk started by forming pairs where they had to introduce each other. Post that the participants had to introduce the other person in front of everyone. While introducing they had to add one quality of them which they noticed while introducing each other. This was done to help them understand the communication aspect when talking to one another.

Then the talk went ahead with the question, When and to whom do you say “I Love You”?  

To answer the question everyone gave different answers as to whom they love and when do they say I LOVE YOU to others. This question was asked so that they understand how much they use these words and how many times do they exactly mean it.

Then the basic definitions and its types were explained to set the terminologies right for them.

• Difference between Platonic Love and Romantic Love

PLATONIC LOVE – It is a shared connection between two people where they love the other person but no sexual feelings are involved. It is different from friends with benefits. It is a beautiful concept where friends care for each other.

ROMANTIC LOVE – It is a connection where there are sexual feelings involved. The feelings for each other are strong for each other. It is powerful, quiet, understanding, caring, protective where gesture, words are important.

• Different types of Intimacies – Emotional, Physical, Intellectual, Digital

EMOTIONAL – It means the closeness related to emotions being met. How Empathy, understanding, sharing can change the dynamics of the communication if there.

PHYSICAL – The physical intimacy is related to the closeness in terms of sexual acts. It also involves kissing, flirty looks, holding hands.

INTELLECTUAL – Not only emotional and physical intimacies are important but also intellectual intimacies are really needed between two people where they connect in a non-physical manner. The topics which they can connect on can be awareness related to politics, business, environment, etc. It helps in keeping their mind in sync.

DIGITAL – Digital intimacy is a new way to keep the chemistry alive. The online chemistry is becoming more and more essential with the moving advances in technology and with each and internet being accessible by everyone easily.

• Difference between Relationship and Commitment

RELATIONSHIP – It is like a connection or an association between the two people. It may be a relation which you are already born with or the relation you decided to be in. There are 4 different types of relationships:

1)FAMILY – It is the relationship to which we are born. The relations involves mother, father, brother, sister, grandparents, etc.

2)FRIENDSHIP – It is the relationship which we learn to make over time with people whom which we talk and discuss on different topics and aspects of life as well as share memories with them.

3)ROMANTIC – It is a kind of relationship which involves intimacies as well with the bond like sharing, caring and understanding each other and to help each other through thick and thin.

4)CASUAL – It is a kind of relationship in which we know people but we don’t share any special bond with them which we do in either of the relationship mentioned above.

COMMITMENT – It is like promising or assuring or agreeing upon the same thing in the relationship. It is like being on the same page of the same book.

Then moving ahead, the question was posed as to “WHY DO THEY LOVE?”

The point of this question was to pass this understanding that what is the purpose and necessity of the romantic relationship. The relationship provides them with Calmness, Security, Dependability, Safety, Completeness, Reliability. The necessity of why people fall into a relationship is was explained by Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs which is explained below in Fig1.

Then moving further the participants were asked to give their views on the love in the past(olden era) and the love now(modern era). The questions which were asked were “Does love happen before marriage or afterwards?”,  “How was it then and how is it now?”, “The time has changed but did the love change with it?”, “What are the conflicts in a relationship?” & “Why do conflicts take place?”

To explain the above, one concept of Compatibility and Chemistry was explained.

 

• CHEMISTRY – It is an emotional connection which both of the partners feels. It is the spark or what people say love at first sight.

 

For EXAMPLE, The two people went on date and felt like they have found the right person and the person is the one they were looking for.

 

• COMPATIBILITY – It is the natural lifestyle choices and values. It is based on the beliefs or similarities that both of the people have.

 

For EXAMPLE, The same two persons who felt they have found one when starts talking to one another, after a while, they realise that they are not with the right partner or the kind of person they wanted to be it. There is a difference between them on the fundamental level.
So, which one is more important to have and can that stage be achieved? Both of them are equally important and partners can certainly work on themselves and their relationship to achieve it. To explain this, a quadrant of High & Low Compatibility and High & Low Chemistry was explained.

To improve the compatibility few of the things which were explained was:

 

• COMMUNICATION STYLE – It is not about using the same language or same words instead it is about the style we use to communicate on any topic be it conflict also. It is about how you deal with the day to day types of conversations. It lays a deep foundation which works as a building block of the relationship.

 

 

• EXPECTATIONS – The problem with the expectations is partners expect the one to be the only one. They expect them to be philosophical, fun, energetic. But what the partners don’t realize is that with this amount of pressure they put on their partners comes back in some of the other ways.

 

PURPOSE/PERSONAL GOALS – It is not about liking the same things or being in a similar place in life. It is more about understanding the partner’s purpose or goal of life and what they want to achieve. It is about respecting their as well as their partner’s desires and priorities.